“Your Merlot, ma’am,” The middle-aged waitress says as she coldly places Josephine’s drink on the table.
“Thank you,” Josephine says with a fake smile. “This just wasn’t her night,” she thought as she sat at the vast bridal table by herself while her family was out on the dance floor celebrating her youngest brother’s wedding. It was bad enough that out of the 4 of her siblings, she (the only girl) was now the only one not married, dateless, thanks to her date’s flight being canceled, and to top the night off, she tripped on a rug, just as the bridal party was coming down the reception line. Bruising her ankle and damning her to a night of sympathetic head nods and silly questions like “awe, are you ok?” or “Does it hurt?” from her merry-making family and friends.
“Well, nothing left to do but get drunk,” Josephine thought as she took a massive swig of her drink, already looking for the waiter to order another.
“Excuse me, miss, but is anyone sitting here?” a deep baritone voice asks Josephine, just as she was taking a second swig of her pain reliever. Looking up into the eyes of the most beautiful man she has ever seen, she manages to say, “Oh Hi, um, no, please sit,” right before some of her wine dribbles down her chin. Quickly grabbing a napkin, she wipes the drool off her chin, praying to Jesus, Buddha, Muhammad, and all the Saints that he didn’t see her, just revert to infancy at the sight of him.
“Thank you.” Mr.’ Smells Like Sin’ says in Josephine’s ear, sending a shiver down her spine, causing her to jump a little “How the hell did he sit so fast” Josephine thought as he apologized for startling her. “Sorry, the music is a little loud. I didn’t mean to startle you. Let me start again,” leaning away from her a bit. “Hi, I’m Neo,” he says, offering his hand to shake and giving her a panty-melting smile.
Taking a deep breath to compose herself, Josephine wipes her sweaty palm on her napkin before she politely introduces herself. “Um, yeah…nice to meet you, I’m Joey..sephine” she says, correcting herself when she almost used her family nickname, shaking his hand with the wet, sweaty crime scene drool napkin still in hers. “Oh, I’m so sorry,” Josephine says, wiping his hand with the same napkin. “Shoot,” she says when she realizes the mess she’s made of his hand. “I’m so…” she started to say before he cut her off by laying his hand on hers.
“No, no, it’s cool, really… Josephine, right?” he asks, holding her soft hand a little tighter. When she nods in the affirmative, sending a fat errant curl tumbling down into her almond-shaped eyes, he chuckles at the adorably skittish, stunningly beautiful woman. “Wow, Neo and Josephine, it seems like we were meant to meet, he says with a charismatic smile as he lets her hand go.
Turning her attention back to her drink to keep from kissing that smile right off his face, “Why is that?” she asks, taking another sip of her wine.
“Well, because of Napoleon and Josephine” when she just sat there blinking at him, he continues, “You know the French Emperor,” he says, mimicking a French Salute.
“DUH, I know who he is, Captain Obvious, but didn’t they cheat on each other like crazy and eventually get divorced?” Josephine says, rolling her eye, “Doesn’t sound like much of a love story to me.” She says, laughing at his bemused, amused expression.
Shaking his head at her observation, Neo says, “Touché” in his best French accent. “Well, let me just say, it’s a pleasure to be amongst such beauty,” He says gallantly, kissing her hand. Looking into her eyes, he decides it would be wrong to start the night off with dishonesty. He comes clean about why he’s there. Turning back towards her, he says, “To tell you the truth, I came over here on an errand” when she looks at him quizzingly, he goes on to explain,
“I’m on a mission of mercy. You see, your brothers just happen to me 2 of my oldest friends.”
“Ok,” a confused Josephine says.
“And, well, I missed the wedding because my first flight was canceled and my second flight was delayed, and when I finally arrived here, your brothers were the first people I ran into. I asked how you were doing; they told me what happened to you earlier today and asked that I check on you, so to tell you the truth, I knew who you were before I introduced myself.” He says a little sheepishly.
Feeling a little hurt by the fact that her, most likely drunk older brothers, sent someone else to check on her and didn’t check on her themselves and that he felt like it was an errand, Josephine gets a little defensive. “Well, that was nice of you to run that errand for them. Thanks for coming over, but I’m wonderful sitting here by myself with my delicious glass of Merlot,” she says with a salute and another swig.
“You’re fine all right,” Neo says with a wolfish grin, “but don’t be like that, you know they care, but they just thought you’d like to talk to an O.L.D. friend.”
“Old friend?” Josephine asks because you would think that she would remember having an old friend that looked like him, but she didn’t. “How are you, my O.L.D. friend?”
“Awe, man, you don’t remember me?” Neo says with his feigning hurt with his hand to his heart, “Now that really hurts my feelings. I can’t believe you don’t even remember me from all those summers we spent at camp.”
Shrugging her shoulders nonchalantly, already feeling lose from the wine, Josephine absently says, “Nah, I’m sorry, I don’t recall. I didn’t hang around my brothers or their friends that much. They were all stupid, gross, and disgusting, and I wanted nothing to do with them, all of those boys were just sickening and icky,” She says with a laughing smile.
“Wow, stupid, gross, disgusting, sickening, AND icky? Ha, I can admit that” he says, laughing at her description. “Well, let me give you a reminder” Turning around to hide his face, he turns his eyelids inside out, puts on his eyeglasses, and bucks his teeth. Turning back around, he says, “Got any cheese,” mocking a famous 90’s sitcom star.
“Fatty Carbunckle!” Josephine exclaims, doubling over in laughter and drawing a few curious glances from those nearby. Lowering her voice and leaning in, she says, “O.M.G, damn boy, you went and got fine-fine on me! Where have you been?”
“Man, Fatty Carbunkle, talk about a glow-up,” Josephine thought rememberingly as he handsomely blushes at her compliment. He really did look fantastic, with his tall, toned physique, encased in a slim-fit tux, his still smooth chocolate brown skin, freshly shaved, and dreadlocks neatly groomed in a fishtail braid down his back. Looking at him now, she was delighted that he was the man that would be sitting next to her and not someone else.
When they were kids, he always reminded her of a chocolate ball, smooth, brown, and as round as a marble. He was always a friendly kid; he wasn’t like her brothers’ other friends. Neo was always so sweet to her, sharing his treats, bringing her pretty rocks, never once thinking it was weird that she liked to collect pretty rocks as the other kids did. He even bought her a geology book for her 12th birthday. He was exceptional, that’s why she always hated his nickname, but as kids often do, they call you what everyone else does, so Fatty Carbunckle he was until she finally saw the true Neo. She remembers how sad she was when he moved away, how lost she felt for months afterward. As a kid, she never understood what that feeling meant, but now, as an adult, she does. And, after all this time, seeing him here today, looking like he just stepped off the pages of a fashion magazine, sent her heart and her mind fluttering, every which way.
“First of all, the last name is Carbanel” Neo says laughing, “and…” but he was interrupted when the waitress from a few minutes ago approached the table asking if they needed anything.
Smiling, Josephine answers, “Yes, another Merlot, please, and I really hate to bug you, but I hurt my ankle earlier today. Could you possibly also bring a plate of appetizers?”
“Yeah, your family let me know about your little mishap earlier and asked that I look out for you,” the waitress reluctantly says before turning to Neo. “I’ll be more than happy to get anything for you” bending down close, giving him a full view of her cleavage, she coquettishly asks, “Is there anything I can get for you, sir?”
Not liking her forwardness or her disrespect towards Josephine, Neo quickly stands, sending the waitress scrambling back, and sternly answers, “No!” But when Josephine looks at him admonishingly, he adds, “Thank you, no, and you don’t have to worry about getting the lady a plate. I’ll get that for her. I know what she likes.” He says, looking down at Josephine with a look of hunger in his eyes.
Getting the point, the waitress says, “Very well.” as she quickly walks away.
“Fatty!” Josephine says, using his childhood nickname and slapping his leg,
“Why’d you do that? Now she’s going to take forever if she comes back at all! Couldn’t you flirt back, give her that killer smile, she would have brought out the best, now I’ll be lucky to get a glass of boxed wine,” Josephine says, flopping back in her chair, pouting with her arms folded.
“Calm down, Punky,” Using his childhood nickname for her because she was always so bratty but adorable. “I’ll get you another drink from the bar before I get your plate, ok.”
“Ok,” she says, perking up, giving him a dazzling smile, “But no…”
“Mushrooms.” He finishes for her. Bending down, he gently kisses her on the forehead before he walks off towards the bar while Josephine dreamily stares after him.
Daydreaming about the past, Josephine watches her family having a fabulous time, and for the first time that day, she was indeed content.
“What has that beautiful smile on your face,” Neo asks as he puts their food and wine on the table and sits.
“You.” She says, smiling at him as she places her napkin in her lap.
“Me,” he says, mimicking her movements.
“Yes, you. I was just thinking of us as kids and how much we’ve changed over the years.” She says, taking a bite of her shrimp, licking a drop of butter off her lips.
Wishing he could lick the butter off himself, Neo clears his throat and simply says, “Yeah,” He says, looking at her beautiful expression.
Sighing in contentment, Josephine turns towards him and says, “I’m happy you were finally able to make it.”
Taking her hand, Neo responds, “Me too. I wouldn’t have missed this wedding or seeing your beautiful face for the world.”
“You don’t look too bad yourself, there, Fatty. I really like you in a Tux.” A blushing Josephine says, touching his chest with her free hand.
“Yeah, I do look sharp, don’t I,” Neo says, preening at his lapel “too bad I didn’t make it in time to walk with you down the aisle,” he says wistfully.
“Don’t worry, you’ll have another chance in a few weeks,” Josephine says, caressing his cheek.
“Where?” Neo asks, feigning confusion, like Josephine.
“Seriously?” a pursed-lip Josephine asks.
“No, not seriously, I know. I can’t wait to make you my wife, Punky.”
“After all this time, I can’t wait to make you my husband, Fatty.” Josephine says with a kiss, “B.T.W., why did you introduce yourself like a weirdo?”
“Just having fun.”
